Crazy messages

I was still on my sofa, only having just discovered that my date was a prostitute 10 minutes before when a long text message arrived on my phone.

It was from Ellie. It said that she was about to drive on the "most dangerous road in Britain" and gave details of her funeral arrangements, her passwords to bank accounts and list of her possessions. "You are the solicitor" it said.

Here is a copy of the exact message (personal info has been removed):

QUOTE

Safety deposit number 216. Metro bank fulham broadway. Key in my knicker draw. £2k in my bedside drawer. Size 5 shoes to my mother. 1k to my dog Ruby. The rest on my parents Miranda and David de Freitas of zzzzzzz. Intestacy apart from that. You are the solicitor. Spice girls "Goodbye" at my funeral. And "All things Bright and Beautiful". No flowers, party dress, no black, shots of tequila and the wake at  zzzzzzz. Music to Miss Christina zzzzz and Miss Lara zzzzzz. Clothes to be divided equally amongst all those with size 12 dress size. All bras and Pepperberry bespoke dresses and clothing to Miss Eleanore zzzzzz of Parsons Green. Facebook and Twitter password is zzzzz All to be deleted after all photos printed. Gmail password is the same. Hotmail is zzzzz Donations to Road safety and Look Good Feel Better. Nationwide acct pin is zzzzz. Barclays Premier zzzzz. Diamonds under my mattress to my Aunt Miss Emily zzzzz. Jewellery to my goddaughter Miss Dizzy zzzzz. Black clothes and suits to go to Miss Tomassina zzzzz. This is my last will and testament. I am of sound mind. I appoint Raksha zzzzzz of Wembley to divide up my possessions according to Intestacy. Eleanor Poppy Miranda de Freitas of zzzz. About to drive very fast on the most dangerous road in Britain

UNQUOTE

What the hell was going on? I was already in shock about finding out she was a prostitute and now this?

I was concerned. I asked her if I should contact her father (because his number was still on my phone) and she replied no. I decided to contact her cousin Lizzie Noel and forwarded her the message that I had received. Lizzie got back to me within a few minutes and said that Ellie had been "joking". I was so annoyed.

Just as I was exchanging a few text messages with Lizzie I received a call from Ellie. She acted as if everything was fine, that everything was totally ok. She was asking in a joyous and playful tone "So, tell me about where you're going to be spending Christmas, how do the Economou's celebrate Christmas....".

She was acting as if everything is ok. It turned out she was actually in her car outside her fathers house about to drive to her grandmothers for Christmas. She had me on loud speaker and I could hear her father approaching the car. "Is everything ok", he said. Lizzie had contacted him.

She reassured him everything was fine and he gave her directions on how to get to the Grandmothers. He did not know I was listening on the car loudspeaker. After a minute he went back into the house and Ellie and I continued our conversation.

I was so annoyed at her. Firstly there was sex sites which I found shocking and disgusting and now this manipulative "suicide hoax". She had everyone running around asking if she was ok.

We spoke for a minute or two and I told her the text messages were manipulative and attention seeking and not cool. I was really pissed off with her and told her that I would not be seeing her again. Then I hung up on her. I didn't tell her I had discovered the sex sites, I kept that to myself.

At 8pm I collected my friend James and we drove down to my fathers house where we'd be spending Christmas. I told James all bout my date with Ellie, the tantric massages, the sex sites, the cash in Harrods, the £338 of sex toys and suicide hoax messages I had just received. He was listening to me in disbelief as Iwent over everything for the hour long drive.

We arrived at my fathers house and I checked my Facebook. Ellie had uploaded a post of her at a petrol station with a magazine in her mouth referring to a "fucking arrogant cunt that upset me". I was thinking my god, I made the right choice. This person is bad news and I need to stay away from her.

See the post below. Read the text....